My Memories Won't Fade
by xoxoBlairWaldorf
Summary: When he wakes up in the morning and sees the woman he loves sleeping sound in his arms he smiles, because when he has Leah, everything is perfect.


**My Memories Won't Fade**

Leah Clearwater is five years old when she sees Sam Uley for the first time. His skin glows in the sun and she swears she sees a sparkle on his teeth as he smiles at her with a goofy grin. She's only five but she thinks she's fallen in love.

Sam Uley is five when he first lays eyes on Leah Clearwater. He thinks she is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Her hair is long and shiny. She has innocent, big brown doe eyes. He's only five but he thinks he's fallen in love.

Leah Clearwater is thirteen when she sees Melissa Grant hitting on Sam. Suddenly she is mad at the world. The only thing she wants to do is punch that slut right in her lip glossed mouth. She fights the urge. She is confused. She does not know why she's feeling that way.

Sam Uley is thirteen when Melissa Grant comes up to him obviously sticking her chest out. He does not want to be mean and patiently listens to her as she flirts with him, twirling her fake blonde hair around her finger. From the corner of his eyes he sees Leah Clearwater. She is flaming red and her hands are curled up in fists. She almost looked… jealous. He doesn't know why, but he thinks he likes it.

Leah Clearwater is fifteen when she gets her first boyfriend. She comes to school one day upset that Seth had begun a relationship before she had. "For God's sake, he's not even ten yet!" she tells Sam, "He probably had her check yes or no in a note!" When she opened her locker at the end of the day, a note fell out of it from Sam, it said, "Will you be my girlfriend? Check Yes or No." She laughs.

Sam Uley is fifteen and is stressing over the perfect way to ask Leah out. He buys roses and chocolates, but she's never been the type of girl to be into that. Sam buys jewelry and writes a love letter, but she's never been the type of girl to be into that. He plans to just blurt it out, and is about to when Leah begins ranting about Seth's new girlfriend. It gives him an idea and he scribbles the question on a piece of scrap paper. She's a simple girl, and that's why he loves her.

Leah Clearwater is seventeen when she loses her virginity. She is nervous, but excited. Ready, but not. Leah watches as Sam lays out the blanket in the small grassy clearing in the middle of the woods—her favorite place. The only sound came from the calming movement of water in the nearby stream. The flowers were in full bloom and the air surrounded them in a sweet lavender smell. Sam had planned everything down to the smallest of details. In all honesty, the entire arrangement was a massive cliché. But it was perfect and Leah could not have imagined it any better.

Sam Uley is seventeen when Leah Clearwater tells him she has decided it is time to give _it_ up to each other. Contradicting the teenage male stereotypes, Sam is the hesitant one. After four days and three restless nights, he concludes he _is_ ready. And if he is going to do this then it has to be perfect. Sam plans for three weeks on how everything will happen. When he finally takes her to her favorite place, deep within the trees, he is unprepared for what goes on. The scenery, sounds, and scents are all how he imagined, but one look at Leah and he's a mess. Something about the way her hair falls to her face, the way her button down shirt sits softly on her petite figure, and the way the moon reflects against her skin makes him a nervous wreck. He feels like his heart will beat right out of his chest as her beauty and gentle touches begin arousing him. Their experience is clumsy and terribly awkward. Sam is not entirely sure he's doing things correctly when he sees her wincing in pain. But when he wakes up in the morning and sees the woman he loves sleeping sound in his arms he smiles, because when he has Leah, _everything_ is perfect.

Leah Clearwater is nineteen when her relationship starts to crumble. Sam is being mysterious, and quiet, and strange, and not like Sam Uley at all. The same boy who spent the last fourteen years chasing her has suddenly stopped. One day after a date Sam complains he is feeling sick so she walks him to his bed, gives him a kiss and an "I love you," then heads home. It is four days later when Leah finally sees him again—hair chopped off and temperamental. He does not answer her calls, he goes mute when she asks him what's wrong, and he doesn't even look at her. Everything _was_ perfect. Now, Leah cries herself to sleep wondering what she did wrong.

Sam Uley is nineteen when he experiences his first transformation. He is with Leah when he starts feeling ill. His blood is boiling and he starts to sweat. Sam can hardly spit out an "I love you" to Leah, let alone breathe, when she says goodnight because he feels like he is about to explode. His heart rate is so fast that it's uncountable. He goes outside for some fresh air but everything he sees is red. All around him, all he sees is red. Then Sam feels himself actually exploding because when he looks down he is no longer in his body—his human one at least. It doesn't seem real and Sam tries to convince himself it isn't for the next two weeks. The idea that he can transform into a wolf is simply preposterous, but it consumes his every thought. He can't think of anything else. Sam doesn't think that anything else even matters now. Nothing else matters, not even Leah.

Leah Clearwater is nineteen when her cousin Emily comes to visit. She prepares the house, the food, and herself for hours. Leah wants everything to be just right for Emily—the sister she has never had and has always wanted. Emily gets in around twelve in the afternoon. They spend the entire day talking and laughing. Leah smiles from ear to ear because it has been a while since she has been this happy. She calls Sam and asks him to come over to meet her cousin. He arrives in the zombie-like trance that she is slowly and unwillingly getting use to. They are on the couch when Emily walks into the room. Leah watches as Sam's mouth drops slightly. His eyes follow her as she glides towards the opposite side of the living room, memorizes by her every movement. In what feels a century ago to Leah, Sam use to look at her that way—back when they were madly in love. And with that thought, Leah's heart drops, and she runs out the front door as the tears follow.

Sam Uley is nineteen when he imprints on Emily Young. He sits on the couch with Leah silently when she walks in the room. All of a sudden everything is in slow motion and Sam watches as Emily's long hair swishes as she walks—no glides—across the floor. It's like she is in front of a background of angelic light. He feels gravity move. The earth is not what holds him here anymore, _she_ does. Sam is so enclose with admiration for Emily that he doesn't hear the front door slam shut.

Leah Clearwater is twenty and heartbroken. She is lonely and hates the day she set eyes on Sam Uley. She hates imprinting. She hates that Sam can hear her thoughts. She hates that she still loves him and he doesn't love her. Leah is bitter and cynical and angry. But she's heartbroken, so she doesn't really give a damn.

Sam Uley is twenty and happily engaged to Emily. His memories with Leah are buried deep in his mind and hardly ever visited. Their love seems so long ago to him, as if it was in another life. Every time Sam looks at Emily thinks about how lucky he is. To him, Emily is the smartest, kindest, funniest, most beautiful woman in the entire world. Sam thinks that he has never felt this way before with anyone, but he has.

_At five years old Sam fell for me. Every day for fourteen years our affection grew stronger. We were attracted to each other, not by force, but by love—true, strong love. From the moment Sam imprinted on Emily he has been bound to her by force—a strong, uncontrollable, gravitational pull. Imprinting is bullshit. Forced love isn't genuine love. What Sam and Emily have isn't real. What we had was._

And Leah keeps repeating this, hoping it will get her through the night.

**Reviews are much appreciated!**


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